educational

Getting Married? You May Want a Prenup

At this time of year, the weather's beautiful and whole lot of people are getting married. That's a good thing, for as a friend of mine once told me, "Marriage is a sacred institution. It's something a man only does ... two or three times in his life!" So I suppose that unfortunately this summer, like every other summer, a whole lot of people will also be getting divorced.

This year, there seems to have been an unusual amount of media coverage of high-profile celebrity divorces and rumors of celebrity divorces. From the messy break-up of Paul McCartney and Heather Mills, to the media circus surrounding the divorce of Christy Brinkley and Peter Cook, to the latest news about Madonna's visit to McCartney's divorce lawyer, the seemingly incessant divorce gossip reporting in the media reveals our national obsession with celebrity, wealth and personal woe. While that may be an indictment of a culture that has such a focus in such troubled times, one good thing about the coverage, perhaps, is that it provoked my realization that I could not recall having ever seen any articles in the adult entertainment press about the issue of asset protection in the event of a divorce or dissolution of a civil union. Consequently, this month's article is about an important type of contract that is rarely discussed in the adult media, but that I believe every adult entertainment entrepreneur should know at least a little bit about: the prenuptial agreement.

Why are prenuptial agreements important to an adult entertainment entrepreneur? Here's some good advice on the subject from none other than Donald Trump posted at TrumpUniversity.com

"When it comes to marriage, one thing I've preached over and over again is that you should have a prenup. I know it doesn't sound very romantic, and it's a difficult subject to broach when you're in love, but if you have any financial assets at all it's critical. You never know what will happen in love and money, so you should always be sure to cover your assets."

In the U.S., the distribution of property and debts at the time of a divorce or dissolution of a civil union are governed by state law. Therefore, in the absence of an enforceable agreement between spouses, a court will apply state law to determine the division of property and debts. How this is done depends on whether the state has adopted regime that recognizes the creation of community property.

In community property states such as Arizona, California, Idaho, Louisiana, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Washington, and Wisconsin, property acquired during marriage is presumed to be the product of the joint efforts of both spouses. Consequently, in states recognizing the creation of community property, income earned by either spouse from salaries, wages, or virtually any other compensation, is considered to be earned one-half by each spouse. All property purchased or otherwise accumulated as a result of income earned by either spouse is also deemed to be community property. Thus, in a community property state, in the event of divorce or dissolution of a civil union, the couple's total property is divided in half even if most of the assets were earned by one member of the couple, unless there is a negotiated settlement or the property is subject to a valid prenuptial agreement.

Also, in community property states, debts incurred during the marriage by either spouse are presumed to be obligations of both spouses regardless of whether the debts were created disproportionately by the spouses.

In some circumstances, however, a spouse may successfully contest whether a debt created by the other spouse is a jointly owed obligation where, for example, the debt incurred individually by one spouse could not reasonably benefit the marital household. In such circumstances one spouse might be held solely responsible for the debt.

States that do not recognize the creation of intellectual property utilize a regime for the division of property and debt known as "equitable distribution."

In equitable distribution states, the courts have a little more discretion to divide assets and liabilities according to what is "fair" in the court's view. Otherwise, the scheme is very similar to community property states. The court will still determine which debts were accumulated during the marriage (thus belonging to both spouses) and which debts or assets belong to only one spouse. The difference is that once a court determines what the marital property and liabilities are, the court is empowered to make whatever division among the spouses as the court determines is fair.

There is, therefore, not a requirement of equal division of property or liabilities. The court is free to consider factors like the incomes of the parties, non-monetary contributions to the household (e.g., contributions by a stay-at-home-parent), or economic misconduct by one spouse. The factors that courts are required to consider in making such determinations vary state to state.

While the community property and equitable distribution regimes have many fundamental differences, divorcing spouses subject to either system will be forced to confront the fact that in the absence of a pre-existing enforceable agreement, the division of their property and apportionment of liabilities will be simply out of their hands.

Both the community property and equitable distribution methods of property and debt distribution are far from perfect. Innumerable disastrous and often financially crippling decisions by judges have resulted either from the discretion available to them in equitable distribution jurisdictions or the lack thereof in states recognizing community property.

Many divorced spouses have thus, unfortunately, learned the hard way that when their fate is left to the courts, divorce laws governing property and debt allocation often produce very unjust and very unfair results.

Now in the context of that legal reality, consider the fact that half, or more or all marriages in the U.S. end in divorce. What this means is that half or more of all the people that get married are going to be subjected to a potential judicial division of their assets and debts over which they will have no control, unless they take action to agree ahead of time about what that division will be.

I know few persons in the adult entertainment industry, or in any other business for that matter, who would enter into a business venture that would put half or more of all their assets at risk and potentially subject them to the possibility of judicially forced imposition of financial obligations, and do so without a contract!

Yet that is exactly what the vast majority of businesspersons within this industry and without do, thereby subjecting themselves to financial risks that are likely to be greater in magnitude than those encountered in any single business venture they have ever participated in.

You certainly don't have to be as rich as Donald Trump to need a prenup. (Trump, by the way, has used three of them so far.) In fact, the arguments for a prenuptial agreement may be strongest for persons who have only a small or modest nest egg as an unfair division of their property could be a much more damaging blow to their financial health than to a multimillionaire.

Experts in the area agree that if you own a business, have children from a previous marriage, have elderly parents who will need caring for or if one of the partners is far richer than the other, a prenuptial agreement is certainly advised.

What is a prenuptial agreement? A prenuptial agreement, often referred to as "prenup," a "premarital agreement" or an "antenuptial agreement" is a type of contract that would-be spouses enter into prior to the commencement of their marriage or civil union. The primary purpose of a premarital agreement is to provide for the division of property and address spousal support issues should the parties divorce or dissolve their civil union. But, depending on the state's law governing the agreement, a prenup can be an effective and binding agreement between the parties covering a broad range of matters.

In most states, almost any contractual matter can be addressed in a premarital agreement as long the subject matter does not promote the dissolution of the marriage or violate public policy, such as obtaining a waiver of responsibility for child support. For example, prenups can be used to protect spouses from each other's debts.

They can also be used to spell out what will happen to property when a spouse dies. For example, a prenup can require that certain property, which would otherwise be claimed by the surviving spouse, shall instead be made available to pass on children or other specified persons.

According to Katherine E. Stoner and Shae Irving, authors of "Prenuptial Agreements: How to Write a Fair and Lasting Contract," "People have been making prenuptial agreements for thousands of years. Scholars tell us that the practice dates back to the ancient Egyptians, and that prenups have existed for many centuries in Anglo- American tradition. In previous times, the parents of the bride and groom negotiated the agreement on the new couple's behalf?"

Prenuptial agreements are now recognized by all the states in the U.S. and by many, but by no means all, countries.

What are the requirements for a valid prenuptial agreement? As you might expect, the laws governing the validity of premarital agreements vary from state to state and from country to country.

The following, however, are some of the most common requirements:

  • The agreements must be in writing, oral prenups are not valid.

  • The agreement must signed by both parties. In some states the agreement must be notarized and otherwise executed in the manner required for a deed to be recorded.

  • In most states, the parties must disclose their income and assets to the other party at the time they enter into the agreement.

  • The agreement must be voluntary and not the result of duress or fraud. A prenup can be invalidated if, for example, the wealthier party deliberately misstates his or her financial condition.

  • The terms of the agreement cannot be unconscionable. If you think that a prenup may be appropriate for your situation, I strongly urge you to seek legal advice from a competent and experienced attorney familiar with contracts in general and premarital agreements in particular.

A prenup is definitely not a "do-it-yourself" document.

This is a lesson that director Steven Spielberg learned the hard way back in 1989, when his former wife Amy Irving contested their self-drafted prenup. The agreement had been signed on a napkin in traditional Hollywood mogul style, of course. Unfortunately, this was done by Irving without any counsel by an attorney.

During the Spielberg's divorce she successfully contested the validity of the agreement and walked away with $100 million, half of her ex-husband's earnings at the time, and far more than what was intended on that now famous face-wipe.

"But discussing a prenup is so unromantic." It is sad but true that a large number of people that would like to enter into a prenup with their fiancee, and an even larger number of people that reasonably should at least seriously discuss the pros and cons of a prenup, nevertheless will not do so primarily because they believe that to do so would be "unromantic" or will somehow "start their marriage on the wrong foot." My response to these excuses: "Get over it."

I believe that persons finding themselves in such a position might want to consider the experience of one of my beloved heroes, Sir Paul McCartney, who was dragged through the mill, or should I say the Heather Mills in a messy divorce without a prenup that resulted in a court order requiring him to pay Mills $48 million.

The lack of a premarital agreement was reportedly because Paul felt that a prenup was unromantic. Not surprising, given the fact that he has composed many of the most romantic songs of our era. That notwithstanding, however, I'll bet that mistake won't be repeated by Macca. And it's a mistake I hope none of our readers make, or worse, repeat.

If you are contemplating marriage and would like to keep control over the division of marital property and obligations in the event of a divorce, but you are embarrassed or uncomfortable about discussing the matter with your fiancé, here are a few things to consider that might help you broach the subject:

  • It is important for couples to have healthy discussions and agreements about finances before they get married as well as after they get married. Discussing the pros and cons and the parties' feelings about a premarital agreement can be a positive and healthy precedent for being candid and honest regarding financial issues.

  • Common sense and fair play dictate that couples should fully disclose and frankly discuss the details of their financial situations before they get married, especially where children from prior marriages or family owned assets are involved.

    According to Donald Trump: "Besides being practical, a prenup is a matter of consideration and responsibility. It's a matter of consideration because a prenup can spare a couple some of the messier, more unpleasant aspects of divorce. It's also a responsibility because marriage, among other things, is a legal commitment. Why ignore this basic component of an important step in your adult life? If you aren't adult enough to be responsible, maybe you shouldn't be getting married in the first place."

  • There is no doubt that for some people, no amount of logic or reason will diminish the fact that discussing a prenup will have the potential to provoke intense emotions, insecurities, and confusion. But facing this kind of difficult issue together can help a couple clear up misunderstandings and provide a foundation for open communication in their marriage.

  • A prenuptial agreement can be a positive communication tool to clarify goals and aspirations in the context of how assets and liabilities will be treated in the future.

  • It is not abnormal to at least question a person's sincerity regarding claims that their relationship with you is truly based on love and mutual respect if they strongly protest or resist discussing the possibility of a prenup. Similarly, if you are the wealthier partner going into the marriage and your fiancé doesn't want to sign a fair and equitable premarital agreement, while it may be an unpleasant task, it is appropriate, fair, and prudent to determine whether an inappropriate desire for financial gain is motivating your fiancé's decision to wed.

Finally, I believe that an effective prenuptial agreement optimizes the probability that the ex-spouses will remain friends. By doing so, I also believe it provides the best opportunity for marriages with children to provide a better post-divorce environment for their kids and set for them a good example of prudence, forethought and responsibility. I strongly suspect that an appropriately drafted prenup by Peter Cook and Christy Brinkley, for example, might well have spared their kids from the unfortunate media circus they were exposed to.

I believe that our society pays a big price for the high rate of divorces that are filled with needless acrimony and costs that could be avoided via the use of prenuptial agreements. It is unfortunate indeed that there is still such as parochial stigma attached to their use. Perhaps if a prenup had to be filed with the marriage licensing authority as a condition to obtain a marriage license, the reticence or embarrassment regarding the discussion of prenups would diminish or disappear. Anyone want to draft an initiative?

Greg Piccionelli is one of the country's most experienced adult entertainment attorneys. He can be reached at Piccionelli & Sarno at (310) 553-3375.

Related:  

Copyright © 2025 Adnet Media. All Rights Reserved. XBIZ is a trademark of Adnet Media.
Reproduction in whole or in part in any form or medium without express written permission is prohibited.

More Articles

opinion

Chastity Play Is Trending: Why It Should Be in Your Marketing Strategy

From chastity fetishes to power play, erotic control — once considered an esoteric niche within the world of BDSM — is now entering the mainstream. Google searches for “chastity cages,” “chastity fetish” and “orgasm denial” have exploded over the past year, with interest especially high for beginner-friendly models.

Naima Karp ·
profile

Andi Avalon Talks Wifey Life and the Joys of Suburban Chaos

Fans crave authenticity. For most adult content creators, this has become gospel. Everybody is looking for “the real deal” — and as it happens, you can’t get much more real than MILF creator-performer Andi Avalon.

Jackie Backman ·
opinion

A Look at Adult Retail's Role in Community Care

In the adult retail industry, we focus on empowerment, exploration and connection. We connect people with products that can transform their relationships with their bodies, with their partners and with themselves.

Rin Musick ·
trends

A Deep Dive Into Key Trends Shaping Pleasure Products

In 2025, the pleasure industry is evolving in intentional ways. Rather than racing toward newness for novelty’s sake, brands are reassessing everything from shape and function to what price intended shoppers can afford.

Ariana Rodriguez ·
profile

WIA Profile: Jia Jeng

Modern branding is all about storytelling — and Jia Jeng certainly knows how to tell an authentic, perspective-shifting tale. As brand manager for ID Lubricants, Jeng applies her creative talent to shaping the long-established company’s public image in a way that aligns with her own vision for an ethical future.

Women in Adult ·
profile

Spicerack Market Offers Indie Brands a Launching Pad

Spicerack Market is an ecommerce platform with the heart of an artisan crafter and the soul of a kinkster. On the website, independent sex toy makers, lingerie seamstresses and kink gear craftspeople can set up a personalized shop to sell their handmade wares, unhindered by censorship or bans on adult products.

Colleen Godin ·
opinion

Strategies to Bring Pleasure Brands into the Spotlight

Every brand dreams about landing a feature in The New York Times or Men’s Health — and pleasure brands are no exception. After all, mainstream media coverage isn’t just a vanity milestone. It builds trust, attracts new audiences and opens doors to connecting with retailers, partnerships, and investors.

Hail Groo ·
profile

WIA Profile: Salima

When Salima first entered the adult space in her mid-20s, becoming a power player wasn’t even on her radar. She was simply looking to learn. Over the years, however, her instinct for strategy, trust in her teams and commitment to creator-first innovation led her from the trade show floor to the executive suite.

Women in Adult ·
opinion

How the Interstate Obscenity Definition Act Could Impact Adult Businesses

Congress is considering a bill that would change the well-settled definition of obscenity and create extensive new risks for the adult industry. The Interstate Obscenity Definition Act, introduced by Sen. Mike Lee, makes a mockery of the First Amendment and should be roundly rejected.

Lawrence G. Walters ·
opinion

Is Your Retail Business Sextech-Ready?

Sextech isn’t just a niche novelty anymore; it’s the future of sexual wellness. From wearable sex toys that provide biofeedback to interactive sex toys with AI capabilities, sextech has made significant progress over the past few years.

Kate Kozlova ·
Show More